Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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