I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I FOUND THE LEGS
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize