I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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