After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
