And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
