um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize