Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
