you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize