you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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