My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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