Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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