3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My life is pants optional.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
