He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
