So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
