i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
