he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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