just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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