Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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