I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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