community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
