She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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