i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
