I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Randomize
