feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
