you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
