can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
