NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
