oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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