that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
