Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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