hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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