So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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