Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
