24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
