It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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