Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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