he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Floor bacon is actually really good
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
