just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
