Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
