There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
