he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize