Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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