That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
