She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
