I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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