Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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