I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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