I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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