I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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