This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Someone came in the potted fern
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize