i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize