I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize