it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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