I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
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Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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