Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
